I thought I’d try and summarise my learning so far, and come up with a list of things that lead me to eat when/what I shouldn’t. I’ll probably add to it over time. If anyone else would like to add any observations of their own, I’d be really interested. I’ve made up some names for the categories that didn’t have names, because it seemed like a good idea;
Fidget eating – this is when I eat because I’m bored or restless. Typically I’ll be working from home, and get up for a wander about – but wander straight to the kitchen as the only natural destination.
coping strategy – have alternative destinations. My plan was to go to the end of the garden and look at the view next time I feel similarly restless. Today, however, I would need a complete change of clothes when I got back, and possibly a pack of huskies to get there. So I will content myself with wandering round the house or just getting a glass of water.
Socialisation – this is when you feel obliged/pressurised to eat too much or the wrong things because others you are with are doing so, and you don’t want to be a party-pooper.
coping strategy – try and put yourself in their shoes? How will they feel if you don’t “conform”. If they’ve spent all day preparing something special for a dinner party then they probably will be a little upset if you don’t try it, but that doesn’t mean you need a massive portion. In most cases though, socialisation pressure is probably mostly perceived rather than real. Our friends may not even notice that we don’t eat much, because they don’t think about food all the time like us. It’s Ok to be honest about how hungry you are, and say you don’t need any more because you are full. If they are supportive friends then maybe you just tell them exactly what you are doing and why it’s an issue – but I am very wary of becoming a diet bore, I hate it when other people chunter on about their diets all evening. If you really need an excuse you could pretend to feel a little unwell. But if you give in once in a while, let it go and don’t worry about it. It’s not really about what happens at parties, it’s the day in, day out that makes or breaks weight control.
Reflex eating – this is when I see something, am tempted, and stuff it in my mouth almost unconsciously.
This is one of my biggest problems. All through the Christmas holidays (which lasted 2 weeks for me) I didn’t eat one single excessive meal, not even Christmas day. But I just couldn’t help myself when the chocolates or party food came out. Specifically, reflex eating is when something happens unexpectedly, or when you encounter food in passing. If you go to the shop to buy chocolates or even go to a cupboard to find them, that’s not reflex eating, it’s pre-meditated. Reflex is “see it -want it -scoff it”. Chocolate biscuits in meetings are another killer for me.
coping strategy – I’m not close to cracking this one yet, but what I’m trying to do is count to 10 and ask myself if I’m really hungry, and if so, whether what I’m about to eat is the best solution. Of course, chocolate will never survive no.2. If I’m really hungry I need to eat some proper food. If I’m not, and I still want whatever the temptation is badly after 5 minutes, I’m going to have some – but try and have only a little. If you are consumed by desire for something, that’s not a good state of mind and a small piece of chocolate probably does less harm than a whole day of fighting demons. I’m doing much better at this the last week and a half or so, but that may be because the Christmas goodies have all gone and there’s less temptation around.
Chain reaction – often triggered by reflex eating, but can happen for all sorts of reasons, this is where one (biscuit, chocolate, whatever) leads to another, and another, all in quick succession. This happens to me a lot with Chocolates. The Quality Street tins at Christmas were a classic example – I would be unwrapping the next one the second I’d put one in my mouth. I can get so wrapped up in the chain reaction that before I know it, I could have gone through 500 or 1000 calories in minutes.
Coping strategies – if I decide in a conscious and considered way to allow myself a treat, I need to remove the source of them (chocolate box etc) or remove myself from its vicinity before tasting anything sweet. But better still, avoid the chain reaction by avoiding the first mouthful of the evil narcotic that is sugar. If it does start, I will alert myself by humming Diana Ross’s “chain reaction” and dancing out of the kitchen (I haven’t tried this last one yet, but it could work).
Inattentive eating – Inattentive eating is eating while not paying attention to the food or your body’s signals. Fat people mostly don’t think about food when they are actually eating, as Paul McKenna so astutely observed. Eating in front of the TV has to be the biggest cause of this, but it happens in all kinds of ways. If you don’t pay attention to your body (as well as your taste buds) you are most likely going to eat too much, if you are prone to doing so. For naturally slim people I guess the body’s “I’m full” signal is stronger than the brains “yum yum” signal and the seratonum hit that goes with it. For us lardies, it’s the other way round.
coping strategies – Slow down, chew food longer and savour the taste more, put food or cutlery down between mouthfuls, put less on the plate in the first place, leave something on the plate regularly. Avoid eating in front of TV and if you do, make double the effort to do all of the above.
Inattentive eating, I discovered, was a much bigger problem than I originally thought for me. Right now, I’m pretty much in top of it, but the challenge is to sustain that and make it normal rather than exceptional. How long that will take, I don’t know. It already feels less unusual than it did, but nothing like normal. Months certainly, years maybe. Maybe it’s already too late. I don’t think anyone who has smoked for 20 years ever truly becomes a non-smoker, in that they would react completely differently to one cigarette than someone who never smoked before. That’s ok, if I have to remind myself before every meal for the rest of my life, so be it. It’s still better than not fitting in one seat on planes & trains for the rest of my life, or the rest of my life being cut short.
Emotional eating – most commonly a reaction to being miserable or upset, but the opposite can also be true for me, as I have often “celebrated” with an eating binge. This, I think, is a simple case of faulty brain wiring, brought on by years of bad habits.
coping strategies – hypnotherapy has helped me a lot with this one, by reminding me that overeating actually makes me feel bad for a lot longer than it makes me feel good, and that I need to deal with the emotion in a better way. I find I’m doing OK with this. My long-lasting emotions tend not to be overpowering . I can be miserable all day if I’m bogged down with work and it’s raining, but I have learned to recognise that and manage it. Eating to cheer myself up will have the opposite effect. My overpowering emotions like elation or rage don’t last long, so a few deep breaths and counting to ten will usually be enough to suppress the eating urge. I may need to go for a short walk if I’ve been speaking to the a tax man or my useless **&!!$** phone company.
Derailment – this is my word for when something unexpected breaks my plan up. For example, today a series of phone calls made me late taking lunch, then just as I was about to make it, I was unexpectedly asked to collect my son from School. It was snowing, and getting back was tricky, so by the time I did it was 4 p.m. and I was starving. The old me would have scoffed anything that could be put straight into my mouth – biscuits, crisps, bread etc. Today I didn’t, I had a half portion of the lunch I had originally planned, which pushed me on nicely to dinner.
coping strategies – as soon as the derailment occurs, think of a new plan for food for the rest of the day. Decide what to eat before entering the kitchen, drink water, and concentrate on not eating anything until the “proper” food is ready.
Habit – plain old habits are responsible for lots of unnecessary eating. Everybody’s bad habits are different, but we have to spot the ones that do the most damage and fix them. Most important in this is breaking the habit and doing something different – I almost think it doesn’t matter what to start with.
That’s my list for now, I’ll probably add to it over time. Does anyone else recognise these issues, or have any others? Does anyone have any better coping strategies? Is anyone actually reading this rubbish anyway?
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