Square 1

This week has gone from bad to worse. After letting go at the weekend, instead of picking up where I left of on Monday I’ve just slipped further and further back to my old ways. Yesterday, my diet consisted of a full english breakfast, a donner kebab and chips, 3 cadbury’s creme eggs, a crunchie, and a slice of coffe cake. In other words a big bucket of lard and sugar.  The only slight hint of any positive progress was that I didn’t (quite) finish everything at my two meals, but that really is clutching at straws.

I’m worried that I’ve now had three days of “fresh start” that has lapsed into complete failure. This is a familiar pattern from dieting days, and one I am desperate to avoid. So today’s goals are just

a) Have a proper breakfast, i.e porridge/fruit/OJ – tick

b) Walk to the station & back. Done the first half, and difficult to get out of the walk back now. No reason to either, the weather is fine & mild, and I’d rather walk than take a bus any day.

Not setting any other goals today. Tomorrow my goal is to have a decent walk, at least an hour, and eat slower & more conciously, and that’s it. I need to get some success chalked up.

Sugar Cravings coming & going

Yesterday was really tough. Was looking after both children and my youngest was not in a co-operative mood, which caused a certain amount of stress, but I’m not sure that had much to do with my cravings. Whatever the reason, they were back with avengance, and I was pre-occupied by a need for sugar virtually all day. I didn’t give in to it much (couple of biscuits and a few crumbs of birthday cake), but I was snappy with the children and generally in a foul mood. I just thought all the positivity from the hypnosis had worn off and I was back to the old me, and I know there’s no way I can get through many days like yesterday on will power alone without caving in.

Today has been fine though.  Been out with the family getting some fresh air and gentle exercise, and even got a little real exercise at the end of the day as they all got the bus up the hill back home and I walked. After naming his tree last weekend, today Isaac named “Derek the Duck Rock” (a rock that was shaped like a duck, apparently, though not obviously enough for my untrained eye), as well as  “Rocky Path” and “Muddy Bank”.  He enjoyed himself though, and that’s the main thing. I’m determined that the outdoors will be a big part of his life, and I’ve discovered that, like so many things in life, it’s all about the marketing.  If I suggest we go for a “walk” he will do anything to get out of it. Walks are boring, he hates walks. But if I suggest we go for an “adventure”, he’s usually up for it.

I feel back on track and full of positive energy. Mind you, that won’t last long, as the treats in store for me this evening include my tax return, renewing my road fund license, and paying a big pile of bills that we’ve just got forwarded from our old house. Oh, the joy:)

My fitness challenge

Today I am excited. I have received my entry form for what I’ve decided will be my mid-year fitness challenge, the Yorkshire three peak walk. This is something I discussed with Wanda, my hypnotherapist, and we agreed that it would be great to have a positive goal to focus on, rather than a list of things not to do. We did some work under hypnosis on visualising myself crossing the finishing line – it seemed powerful at the time though hasn’t really stuck with me. I think now I can officially enter it’s going to seem more real though, and I have another hypnotherapy session next Friday so we may work on it some more I hope.

This involves a circular walk of around 26 miles, climbing the three highest mountains in Yorkshire (not very high, all around 2500 ft) for a total ascent and descent of over 5000 feet, with the traditional challenge being to complete it in 12 hours.  There is an organised charity event for Heart Research UK so I’m going to try and raise a little money for them in the process, but I’d be lying if I said that was the main motivation. I want to set myself a challenge that I know will take significant weight loss and excercise for me to be able to achieve.

The event is on 20 June, the day after my 44th birthday, so I’ve got five more months to shift weight and get much fitter. This gives a purpose to my walking know, and I couldn’t have a better birthday present than crossing the finishing line within the 12 hour target. I think I’ll try and round up a team from the office too – there are several ultra-fit types there who could do this any day of the week with no prep. But being part of a team would give me an extra incentive not to let the side down. The lightest I’ve been any time in the last 10 years is about 260lbs (18 st 4 if you’re British and not good at your 14 times table), so that’s my loose goal for 20 June – seems realistic, that would be 60 lbs in just under 6 months. But really if I complete the walking challenge it will be mission accomplished.

Happy days

I’ve just been for a little walk, and even managed to persuade my 6-y-o son, Isaac, to come with me. It cost me a trip to the toy shop, but what the hec. We had an hour in the park then walked the 2m or so back home through a little woodland path we discovered during the Christmas holidays (we’ve only just moved to this house in December). And after moaning about being tired and asking if we could get a taxi(!) he got stuck in and really enjoyed himself. He raced on in front, named a tree after himself after climbing it (well, sitting on the bottom branch), and we sat on an escarpment and watched trains coming and going from the station hundreds of feet below. This is what life is for.