I must be near the bottom now

… because I don’t think I can go much lower.  Yesterday was the culmination of two weeks heading mostly down a slippery slope. We had a buffet and some friends round, and I can’t even remember what I ate but I know it included pretty much a whole Pavlova and a whole bunch of other sugary stuff. I slept 10 hours last night too – I hardly ever sleep more than 6. I think that’s the sugar. This morning my wife, bless her, took all the remaining cakes and biscuits with her in the car when she went out.  She even remembered the caramel squares from Thorntons, with their crystallised sugar which (like meringue) is pretty much crack cocaine for me. As those went in the bag I felt a little cry of anguish inside me, and almost stopped her from taking them.

It’s hard to believe that less than 3 weeks ago I felt in almost total control with food, was losing weight nice and steadily, and really looking forward to a summer where I’d be several stones lighter than last year. Now, hear I sit, back in my fatter jeans, like a pathetic washed up junkie. At least that’s how I felt last night and first thing this morning. I’m getting a bit more of a grip now. I don’t like being the person I was yesterday one bit. Today will just be hour by hour – I have to fight back somehow.

Tags: chocolate cravings, comfort eating, compulsive eating, concious eating, sugar cravings