Square 1

This week has gone from bad to worse. After letting go at the weekend, instead of picking up where I left of on Monday I’ve just slipped further and further back to my old ways. Yesterday, my diet consisted of a full english breakfast, a donner kebab and chips, 3 cadbury’s creme eggs, a crunchie, and a slice of coffe cake. In other words a big bucket of lard and sugar.  The only slight hint of any positive progress was that I didn’t (quite) finish everything at my two meals, but that really is clutching at straws.

I’m worried that I’ve now had three days of “fresh start” that has lapsed into complete failure. This is a familiar pattern from dieting days, and one I am desperate to avoid. So today’s goals are just

a) Have a proper breakfast, i.e porridge/fruit/OJ – tick

b) Walk to the station & back. Done the first half, and difficult to get out of the walk back now. No reason to either, the weather is fine & mild, and I’d rather walk than take a bus any day.

Not setting any other goals today. Tomorrow my goal is to have a decent walk, at least an hour, and eat slower & more conciously, and that’s it. I need to get some success chalked up.

Let it snow

This week I have discovered a new form of excercise – shovelling snow. We have about 8-10 inches at the moment, and on Tuesday the kids stayed home and I got quite a bit of excercise building a snowman and an attempt at an igloo (not very successful). Then this morning I had to clear a path down the drive for my wife to do the school run, with a silly little shovel not designed for the purpose – that was hard work.

Walked to/from the station again today, and also had walks of over an hour on Sunday and Tuesday, so I’m having a good week for excercise already. Will probably walk to station at least once more this week, because it’s easier than digging my car up! Not quite so good for food, slipping back into snacking and deserts quite a bit and portion sizes may have crept up at the odd meal too. It hasn’t been terrible, but several biscuits a day kind of thing. One day was much worse – Monday I think. Today has been better. Been struggling to catch up with work all week and when I’m chasing my tail like this I can easily drift into a short term mode where nothing but surviving the day matters, and then I lose motivation. Also missed my proper breakfast Monday/Tuesday – that always mucks my day up. Porridge rocks!

I’ve been staring at red things a lot following my last hypnotherapy session, which are supposed to increase my motivation. Is it working? I don’t think so really. I’m also struggling with the hypnotherapy MP3 this week, have abandoned it part way twice because I just couldn’t get into it. Maybe it’s just got too repetitive, or maybe I’m just in the wrong frame of mind.

Ordered my Swingball on Ebay on Sunday, still waiting for it to show up. Not that I would get much use of it just now with all the snow, which doesn’t look like going any time soon.  But I still want to get my hands on it, it’s another positive step.

Making headway

Today was good. I’m fairly sure my staple breakfast is key to everything. When I have a good start the rest of the day falls into place more. Today I had three light meals, did allow myself a slice of cake after one and a mini ice cream after dinner, but haven’t eaten anything at all between meals. Had a walk to the local town and back too, and for the first time I actually strode back up the hill to my house with some purpose. I attacked it. It’s no longer a challenge simply to put one foot in front of the other and make it to the top, I’ve moved on a stage. I’ve taken an important step towards my fitness challenge, and it feels really good.

I also weighed myself  for the first time this year. I wasn’t planning on doing this but I needed some confirmation of my progress after a couple of not so great days. I’ve lost about 15lbs since mid December, probably almost all this month. My bad breath problem seems to be under control too, don’t know if it’s the mouthwash or whether it’s just cleared up by itself.

I have another hypnotherapy session tomorrow, which I’m looking forward to. It’s not midnight yet and I’m leaving my tax return and all the other stuff I should have done by now and prioritising looking after myself. I’ll get the return done online tomorrow with any luck, and if I don’t I’ll just pay the fine.  Sorting my health out is more important, so I’m going to bed, not a little elated. Life is good.

Sugar Cravings coming & going

Yesterday was really tough. Was looking after both children and my youngest was not in a co-operative mood, which caused a certain amount of stress, but I’m not sure that had much to do with my cravings. Whatever the reason, they were back with avengance, and I was pre-occupied by a need for sugar virtually all day. I didn’t give in to it much (couple of biscuits and a few crumbs of birthday cake), but I was snappy with the children and generally in a foul mood. I just thought all the positivity from the hypnosis had worn off and I was back to the old me, and I know there’s no way I can get through many days like yesterday on will power alone without caving in.

Today has been fine though.  Been out with the family getting some fresh air and gentle exercise, and even got a little real exercise at the end of the day as they all got the bus up the hill back home and I walked. After naming his tree last weekend, today Isaac named “Derek the Duck Rock” (a rock that was shaped like a duck, apparently, though not obviously enough for my untrained eye), as well as  “Rocky Path” and “Muddy Bank”.  He enjoyed himself though, and that’s the main thing. I’m determined that the outdoors will be a big part of his life, and I’ve discovered that, like so many things in life, it’s all about the marketing.  If I suggest we go for a “walk” he will do anything to get out of it. Walks are boring, he hates walks. But if I suggest we go for an “adventure”, he’s usually up for it.

I feel back on track and full of positive energy. Mind you, that won’t last long, as the treats in store for me this evening include my tax return, renewing my road fund license, and paying a big pile of bills that we’ve just got forwarded from our old house. Oh, the joy:)

My fitness challenge

Today I am excited. I have received my entry form for what I’ve decided will be my mid-year fitness challenge, the Yorkshire three peak walk. This is something I discussed with Wanda, my hypnotherapist, and we agreed that it would be great to have a positive goal to focus on, rather than a list of things not to do. We did some work under hypnosis on visualising myself crossing the finishing line – it seemed powerful at the time though hasn’t really stuck with me. I think now I can officially enter it’s going to seem more real though, and I have another hypnotherapy session next Friday so we may work on it some more I hope.

This involves a circular walk of around 26 miles, climbing the three highest mountains in Yorkshire (not very high, all around 2500 ft) for a total ascent and descent of over 5000 feet, with the traditional challenge being to complete it in 12 hours.  There is an organised charity event for Heart Research UK so I’m going to try and raise a little money for them in the process, but I’d be lying if I said that was the main motivation. I want to set myself a challenge that I know will take significant weight loss and excercise for me to be able to achieve.

The event is on 20 June, the day after my 44th birthday, so I’ve got five more months to shift weight and get much fitter. This gives a purpose to my walking know, and I couldn’t have a better birthday present than crossing the finishing line within the 12 hour target. I think I’ll try and round up a team from the office too – there are several ultra-fit types there who could do this any day of the week with no prep. But being part of a team would give me an extra incentive not to let the side down. The lightest I’ve been any time in the last 10 years is about 260lbs (18 st 4 if you’re British and not good at your 14 times table), so that’s my loose goal for 20 June – seems realistic, that would be 60 lbs in just under 6 months. But really if I complete the walking challenge it will be mission accomplished.

A triumphant day

Yesterday was a very good day. It’s funny, because on any of my 27 (approx) previous big initiatives to lose weight, I’d have though it was a bad day. My calorie consumption was slightly on the high side I suspect – don’t know exactly but I’m guessing at lunch as I ate in a restaurant. BUT, the old me would have eaten twice as much at least. And as I’m now concerned with changing habits for life rather than precisely how many grams of fat I may or may not have burned off in one day, there were some great positives.

#1 – Had a business lunch for the first time this year, quite an important meeting. I therefore wasn’t too focused on the food, as I had to concentrate on the meeting, and being a man, can only think of one thing at once.  Here’s the great thing. Without really thinking about it, and without trying, I just naturally put down my fork with quite a lot of Spaghetti Carbonara left on the plate, and pushed it away. Not because it wasn’t nice, it was lovely, but because I had had enough. And the lady I was meeting, who I would guess is a size 8 at most and very glamorous, ordered the same and cleared her plate!

#2 – I wore my belt on the fifth loop all day, and am doing so again today. I bought this belt on 5 Jan and was using the third loop then. It’s a bit tight now, but definitely a bit too loose on the 4th.

#3 I smashed my own world record* for walking from the station to my house (the long way round) by 6 minutes, coming in at the 34 minute mark. Disappointingly, I still had to have one puffing and panting stop 3/4 of the way up the hill, but I’m going to do it all in one go soon.

#4 I didn’t eat between meals apart from an apple when I got home late at night, or anything sweet at mealtimes.

*It’s fair to say that this particular world record is not one that is focused on by many of the worlds top athletes, as the IOC have yet to introduce “walking from the station to my house (the long way round)” as an official Olympic event. This is disappointing, but does increase my chances of hanging on to the record. I am the official timekeeper too, and operating anonymously, so that’s gotta help. Whatever, it was a personal best.